Amber, year one, day four continued

Well, I was unable to find Felix, but I did find someone else. His name is Shard and he is apparently Julian's son. I discovered him quite by accident when I was searching for Felix. As I explored the second floor, I saw light coming out from underneath one of the doors. I stopped to listen, and was alarmed to hear what clearly sounded like someone hyperventilating. I knocked upon the door, which caused the person in the room to let out quite a yell. He tried (rather badly, I might add) to convince me that there was nothing wrong, but I believed none of it, and he eventually opened the door. Shard resembles Julian greatly, with long black hair and gray eyes, but he has none of Julian's self-control. Unfortunately, Felix chose to make his appearance at that moment, bringing to an end my plans to fake my death and see his reaction. The man moves quietly for one of his size! It was not the best of first encounters, for we found Gérard as stiff as a board, and I could not find a pulse. Felix became upset and rather forcefully sent me to fetch help.

I went to the third floor and began to pound on all of the doors (I skipped Driscoll's, since he had looked to be badly in need of some rest). Eventually the noise awoke Ahab, and I explained about Shard. It seems no one knew that Julian had a son. No wonder I am having so much trouble learning who my parents are: Amberites seem to be constantly misplacing or hiding their children. Ahab suggested that we wake some of the elders, with Eric and Corwin being the most logical candidates, since both of them are competing for the throne. We each took one of them, figuring that this way they would both learn of the situation at the same time and neither could claim to have been slighted. I woke Eric with little trouble, and once he learned of the situation, he quickly made his way to Gérard's quarters. Ahab arrived at the same time as we, but without Corwin. It seems Ahab could get no answer at his door. Somehow I am not surprised.

We walked in as Shard was explaining how Gérard came to be in his current state. Apparently Shard found Caine's body in the forest. He was going to tell Julian, but Brand appeared and suggested he tell Gérard instead. Shard appears to be highly suggestible, for he actually went along with this. He had just started to explain things to Gérard when Gérard suddenly froze. Then Brand appeared, removed the Jewel from Gérard's pocket, and vanished again. This must have occurred soon after my own conversation with Brand. Trying to devise a way to fix the Pattern, indeed! Still, he seemed sincere, and if he was planning to steal the Jewel and leave so soon, why ask me to keep silent about his presence? I do not understand Brand at all. I decided that, given the current circumstances, it would be best not to mention my encounter with Brand. Felix mentioned to the others that I had gone looking for Brand, so I lied and said that I had not been able to find him.

Shortly after Eric confirmed Shard's identity with Julian, Felix stormed out of the room. I guess he was upset that he could not beat up Shard. Ahab, Shard and I talked for a while, and I discovered that Shard knows even less of Amber than I do. Apparently Julian did not tell him much at all except that he should stay away from Amber. He did not even know what the Pattern was! And he grew up practically in Amber. Having arrived via Brand, Shard did not know how to leave the Castle and asked for a guide. I offered to fetch a page, and told him that he was welcome to stay in the castle as well. Perhaps it was not my place to offer, but if they are willing to offer people like Heather a room in the Castle, then surely they cannot object to Shard.

Shard was still deciding what to do, when I received a trump call. I was surprised, since I am still not well known in Amber, and the only people I know with a trump of me are Driscoll and Mirelle. I excused myself from the conversation and accepted the contact. Much to my dismay, I found it was from Heather. I guess that I should not have been surprised. I know that she can draw trumps. I just never expected her to want to contact me. I certainly had no wish to talk to her. The very fact that she had contacted me, of all people, immediately made me suspicious. As usual, she wanted to be brought through immediately, but did not want to say why. More suspicious then ever at this (unlike Driscoll, I learn from mistakes), I asked her to tell me why she wished to come through. She claimed that she had important information for whoever currently possessed the Jewel. She would not tell me the information, and I was unwilling to bring her through, so I suggested she trump Eric instead. She insisted again that she needed to come through, this time claiming that she needed to get some of her trumps from the Castle. I found this even harder to believe. What happened to the ones she had with her? She did not want to say. I told her that given her past track record, I was not going to bring her through without knowing more, so she broke the contact. I do not know why she did not just draw a trump of her quarters, as she did later. She was definitely up to something. I wonder if there is a way to determine who is calling before one answers a trump call? I shall have to ask. In the meantime, I think I shall stop answering them altogether.

Ahab was most interested to learn that Heather had left trumps in Amber, and he decided to search for them in her quarters. I do not know why, but since searching for them involved disturbing Heather's quarters, I was happy to assist him. Shard came along also, since he had nothing better to do. Ahab and I both warned him about Heather and her treachery. For his sake, I hope he paid attention. We managed to managed to make quite a mess of the place by the time Heather appeared. She was most displeased to find us there, but neither Ahab or I cared overmuch. We remained there for another five minutes or so, just to annoy her, and then left, Shard to his guest quarters, Ahab and I to his.

Amber, year one, day five (Monday, September 15, 2985)

It was a wonderful night. I have never before met a man who could outlast me, but even wounded Ahab was inexhaustible. I wonder if all Amber men have such stamina? In all, it was truly one of the most pleasant nights that I have had in a long time.

Eventually we slept, and we did not manage to rise until midday. Lunch was a family affair, with most of the family present, except for the redheads, Corwin (no real surprise), Gérard, Caine (again, no real surprise) and Felix (this was a surprise, I cannot imagine him missing a meal). Llewella asked me how Ahab was in bed, so I told her, which discomfited both Driscoll and Shard immensely. Well, if it was not appropriate meal conversation, why did Llewella ask? Sometimes I do not think I will ever understand Amberites. Heather was at the meal as well, but fortunately she kept her mouth shut, so I was able to ignore her. Partway through the meal, Eric, Benedict and Julian all left. Ten minutes later, Bleys walked in. Coincidence? I am beginning to doubt there is any such thing in Amber. Apparently Bleys is a sorcerer, for Ahab asked for his help in removing Brand's spell on Gérard. Bleys agreed to try and I was introduced to him. He seems rather charming, in much the same manner as Brand was the last time I spoke with him, but Bleys is...friendlier somehow.

Driscoll left soon after Bleys arrived, looking a bit nervous, so once I had finished my meal I sought him out to ask him why. He told me that Eris' captors had been in opposition to Bleys, and he was not sure what Bleys' feelings were on the whole matter. He knew of nothing specific that I should be worried about with Bleys, but admitted that he knows little more about our relatives than I do. Somehow I do not find this knowledge very comforting.

Having no specific plans for the afternoon, I retired to the library to do the research I had been planning. Unfortunately, Heather decided to spend the afternoon in the library as well. I resolved to keep an eye on her while she was in the room, especially when she made such a concerted effort to remove herself from my sight. Eventually she sat down with a book, scribbled a code in it, and left. I did not bother to finish deciphering it, but I took the book with me. The code may provide some brief amusement at some later date. All of the books about shadow and the Pattern were missing, but there were some books on Amber's history, which I brought with me. I have not really had a chance to go through them yet.

I really wanted to find those missing books, so I went looking for Ahab. I am sure that I remember him mentioning them at some point. I found him in the armory, along with Benedict, Julian, Gérard and a man I had never met but recognized from the trumps Mirelle showed me...Oberon. I was more than a little surprised to see him there. After all, the conflict between Eric and Corwin was due to Oberon's death, or so I had thought. I tried to ask Ahab about this quietly, but Oberon noticed me enter and asked who I was. I introduced myself and then managed to find out what was going on from Ahab. It seems that Oberon's reappearance was quite a surprise to everyone. Then I learned that Oberon has chosen Corwin as his successor. I cannot believe this. I doubt Brand would have possession of the Jewel if Corwin had not stolen it from Eric. And we suspect him of killing Caine as well. Now I admit I know little about the ideal qualities for an affective monarch, but thievery and murder cannot be among them. Nonetheless, there is little I can do about it. Corwin, Deirdre, Bleys and Fiona joined us soon afterwards, and Oberon gave them all battle orders. It seems we will be taking the war to Chaos in short order. First though, Oberon wants to get the Jewel back, a task he has assigned to Bleys and Fiona. Ahab asked to talk with Julian and the two of them have gone off somewhere. Julian has not seemed very happy with Ahab of late. I hope they can resolve their problem.

Ahab returned and I think things are settled between him and Julian. I have learned that Oberon wants the Jewel because he needs it to repair the Pattern. Perhaps that is why Brand stole it as well. He did say that he was investigating methods of repairing the damage. Oberon thinks that repairing the Pattern will kill the person who fixes it. I wonder if Brand knows this? I told Ahab of what I learned from Brand about the Spikard and the spell it cast on him. I did not tell him how I learned this, but I am sure he knows. He agrees that it is possible Brand may be trying to help Amber, but I do not think he finds this likely.

Chaos attacked Amber with its largest force to date (or so Ahab tells me). I have engaged in my first battle as an Amberite, and it was an exhilarating experience. Ahab, Felix and Shard are all fine fighters. Ahab and I fought together, and with me covering Ahab's injured side we made a good team. I was amazed at Driscoll's skill with a blade. What he lacks in common sense, he certainly makes up for in combat skills. My uncles are even more impressive. I can see that I still have much to learn. This expedition should be a great opportunity to learn some new fighting styles. Oberon sent most of our armies on a march to Chaos, and gave my cousins and I the option of going with them or staying in Amber. I chose to go, of course. Ahab and Shard did as well. Felix and Driscoll have decided to remain behind, but they have good reasons for their choice. Driscoll does not wish to leave Eris. Given how he almost lost her when he left her behind once before, I am not surprised that he wishes to stay with her. I offered him the services of Kira, Jan, Lorin, Arn and Randal (who Felix brought back from his parents' summer home), to help protect and care for Eris. I have no real need of guards when I will be marching with an army, and Kira is not truly a warrior. She will be much happier remaining in Amber. I think Felix is staying in Amber so that he can be with his pater, who was ordered by Oberon to oversee the defense of Amber. The rest of us have eaten and packed for the journey, so I expect we shall be setting off soon.

Somewhere in shadow, year one, day 17

It has been a while since I have written. Not much worthy of note has happened since we left Amber. We have encountered more Chaos forces and defeated them with little difficulty. I trumped Felix today, to talk with him and learn how things are going in Amber. Time is passing more quickly for them than for us. According to Felix, we have been gone for a little over two months. The attacks on Amber seem to have stopped, which is good news indeed. Oberon went down to the Pattern room shortly after we left, and has not been seen since. Heather has also disappeared. Somehow, I am not surprised to learn this.

Ahab's arm healed soon after we left, much to my delight. I have never seen wounds like that heal so quickly! He has turned out to be a good traveling companion. Certainly the nights are well spent. Shard keeps pretty much to himself. He is much like his pater in that regard.

Somewhere in shadow, year one, day 45

We have made camp on a barren plain, to allow the army to rest up before continuing on. The only thing that grows here is an a rather out of place tree. Julian says that we will remain here for a few weeks.

Ygg, year one, day 46

The tree talks! Its name is Ygg, and it marks the halfway-point between Amber and Chaos. I asked it about Chaos and the Pattern, but it said it could not talk about those things. It seems it must remain neutral. I did learn that there is a power in Chaos that is the equivalent of our Pattern. It would not say what it was called or how it functioned. It is an excellent philosophical debater, however, and Ahab and I had a most interesting discussion with it. Shard and his hound, Battlestar, were there as well. It turns out that Battlestar had more to say on the subject than his master. I wonder if all of Julian's hounds can talk? I look forward to talking with Ygg again tomorrow.

Ygg, year one, day 52

I decided to finish decoding Heather's book. It turned out to be a message reading "Curiosity killed the cat." Heather is not a very subtle bitch.

Ygg, year one, day 58

We are finally breaking camp and continuing our advance. I will miss the daily debates with Ygg. It must get lonely out here. I do not believe I have said much yet about Julian's army. Ahab says that much of it was gathered in Shadow, and this I can well believe. Many of the troops are not even human, but rather seem like monsters out of some children's tale. It is hard to believe that there are worlds full of such creatures. Many of our Chaos foes seem equally monstrous. I have noticed something unusual while fighting them. Some of them, usually the leaders, have a rather odd, almost foul odor about them. I do not quite know how to describe it. It is not an odor such as one would smell from food or flowers, but almost another sense entirely. Ahab does not seem to notice it at all.

Somewhere in Shadow, year one, day 65

I spoke with Felix again today. We have been gone from Amber for a little over a year now. Eris is growing fast, the way all children do at that age. Kira and the others seem to be doing well. Amber has been free of attacks for months now, which is good to hear.

Somewhere in Shadow, year one, day 72

It occurs to me that I should write down what I have learned through talking with Ahab. His childhood seems to have been as unique as the man himself. He walked the Pattern when he was only 12! He says he did it to grow up and become important. It seems that he grew up rather too quickly. He did talk about living in Amber, and it sounds like it can be wonderful at times. Minstrels, poets, the finest educators that could be found. I envy him somewhat. He has had his whole life to learn about his heritage, while I feel like I am constantly scrambling to catch up. He knows my aunts and uncles, knows which ones he can depend upon for help, and which ones to avoid. To me they are all strangers, and I am the same to them. He knows who his Mater and Pater are, whereas mine are still a mystery to me. Ahab thinks that Eric is my pater, but if so, he has done nothing to acknowledge me. I was surprised to learn that Ahab is only 41 years old. Somehow I had thought that he was older than me.

Somewhere in Shadow, year one, day 79

Mental note: do not ask Ahab about his pater. He is very touchy about the subject. I had been telling him of my pater (the one who raised me) and chanced to ask Ahab about his. He told me that his pater is dead and scowled in such a manner that I did not press the issue.

Somewhere in Shadow, year one, day 85

It seems that Ahab spent a few years with Gérard sailing with Amber's fleet. I learned some interesting things about the ships Amber uses - they are able move through the power of wind alone. No oarsmen are necessary. I find this to be a wonderful development and have been talking with Ahab about it for the past day or two.

Somewhere in Shadow, year one, day 105

The skirmishes are getting more difficult. I feel we must be getting close to Chaos. I have indeed had the opportunity to improve my fighting skills with new techniques, but I begin to long for the day when I will not have to use them so often.

Somewhere in Shadow, year one, day 114

I spoke with Felix again. Things seem to be calm in Amber. It is now almost two years since we departed. Contact is becoming harder and harder to maintain. Soon I fear we will not be able to talk at all.

Somewhere in Shadow, year one, day 127

Julian says that we will reach Chaos by tomorrow. I am relieved that we are finally there. All of this constant fighting and traveling begins to get tiring. I am already beginning to feel the anticipation of reaching our journey's end and facing our enemies once and for all. I hope I will be able to sleep. I will need all of my strength for the fight tomorrow.

Chaos, year one, day 128

After a long and difficult battle, we have finally defeated Chaos. It...did not go quite as I was expecting. To be honest, I am surprised that I still live. He could have killed me so easily, and taken the Jewel with him. Why did he not? The battle itself was a near thing, but that did not surprise me. Things pretty much went as expected until Corwin appeared on the field, looking worn and tired. Ahab and I went to his aid, which is how we learned that Oberon had retrieved the Jewel from Brand and fixed the Pattern, and that Brand had somehow stolen it back. This was grave news, especially since Corwin claimed to have passed through an area of nothingness on his journey. He believes that the repair of the Pattern is causing Shadow to be rewritten. I hope that my homeland will not be damaged. Corwin thinks that without the Jewel, we may not be able to survive. When I heard this, I resolved to keep watch for Brand, in case he appeared to gloat.

I still do not understand his motivations. It seems at times that he is two different people. One the man I talked with in his quarters, the other the maniac who dangled the Jewel over the Abyss.

I was the first of us to see him, though I do not know how long he was standing on that hill before then. Deirdre was unconcerned, an attitude I am certain she now regrets. Corwin, Ahab and I approached him. Brand was acting quite insane. He asked Corwin about his horse of all things! Corwin shot at him with a crossbow, but Brand simply disappeared. I do not know how he accomplishes this, but it appears he can disappear and reappear anywhere at will. Ahab managed to wound him with a crossbow bolt, and Brand almost killed him for it. I was too far away to hear their conversation, but Brand held his sword at Ahab's throat for a while, and then vanished, reappearing near Deirdre. He kept doing this for some time, vanishing, reappearing, waiting for someone to get close to him, and then vanishing again. He finally stopped by the edge of the Abyss and began dangling the Jewel over it! I do not know why he did this. If he wanted to, he could easily have escaped with it, and none of us could have stopped him.

I asked him to return my Trump of Ahab. I am not sure why I asked him this, save that I was desperate for something to focus his attention on, other than the Jewel. I had hoped that it might change his mood somewhat, perhaps make him think about what he was doing. Instead he tells me that he has sold the Trump to others, who I am sure have no good will towards Ahab. The bastard! How dare he toy with other people's lives in such a manner! Deirdre felt likewise and rushed to attack Brand, but he was able to freeze her in place with just a glance. Then she started walking towards the Abyss. Ahab was frantic, of course. Who would not be, to see one's own mater calmly walking towards her death? He tried to get between them, but Brand threatened to send her over the edge even faster if he did. I asked Brand why he was doing this, but he would only say that he was proving a point. What point? That he was more powerful than us? That if he wanted to he could kill us? Why did he torture us this way? It is almost as if he wanted to die.

We were placed in an awful quandary. If we shot Brand, Deirdre would be saved, but we would lose the Jewel. Fortunately fate intervened. Brand became rather distracted and released his hold on Deirdre. I think he may have been receiving a Trump call. He also pulled Jewel back from the Abyss. I considered shooting him then, but he was still too close and would have fallen over the edge had I done so. Shard did not help matters by constantly pushing my crossbow down. I did not wish to shoot Brand, but I was not going to just stand there and watch either. I was almost tempted to shoot Shard instead!

Having finished interfering with me, Shard tried to catch Brand with his whip and pull him back from the edge. He managed to catch Brand around the ankles and pull him off of his feet, but Brand fell too close to the Abyss. He held the Jewel over the edge again and demanded that Shard release him. And Shard was afraid that I would do something to set Brand off just by aiming at him! The next thing I knew, Corwin was standing next to Ahab. I hoped that he would have some clever plan for dealing with Brand, but such was not the case. I took aim at Brand again, and this time Shard left me alone.

He was trying to Trump away, I am sure of it. He was holding out his hand. Why? He could have just vanished like he did before. I did not wish to kill him, but I did not wish for him escape with the Jewel. Seeking guidance, I looked at Corwin, who ordered me to shoot. So I did. Ahab did as well. We caught him in the chest and throat and he fell over the edge. The Jewel was lost. Until Shard did something right for once, and used his whip to catch Brand's ankle. Which is when I did something foolish. I ran to the edge and peered over. I guess I was hoping that he might still have the Jewel, or that perhaps I could catch it before it fell out of reach. Brand still had the Jewel all right, but he was also still conscious. Had he wanted to, he could have pulled me over the edge, to fall to my death or be used as a hostage. He could have thrown the Jewel away. He could have used it against us. Instead, he offered it to me. I told him I was sorry, but he had left me with no choice. And then he vanished, along with Shard.

I remember standing off balance on the edge for a moment, and then I felt two pairs of strong hands pull me back. Ahab and Corwin. Ahab was upset with me for risking my life so, but what else could I do? We needed the Jewel. Without it, we might all die. Compared to that, what mattered my own life? I am not sure how long I stood there in shock before I realized that the Jewel was still pulsing warmly in my hand. I gave it to Corwin, since he was Oberon's successor. He took it, but not happily. It seems that he has changed a great deal since I last saw him. He said that he would hold the Jewel until the future of Amber had been decided. He does not want to rule any longer. Ironically, now that he no longer wishes to be King, he seems for the first time to be fit to be one. I hope we can change his mind. Otherwise, I fear there will be another fight for the throne. But there are other things to be dealt with first. Someone must tell Julian that his son is either dead or with Brand's allies. I do not envy the one who has that task. And there will still be Brand to deal with. He was alive when he disappeared. Given how quickly Amberites seem to heal, there is a good chance that he may have survived. I have mixed feelings about this. He stabbed Driscoll, sold me to that creature, stole the Jewel and almost killed Deirdre. But he did not kill Ahab when he had the chance. He allowed me to enter his quarters when he knew I wanted to kill him. He removed the spell he had cast on me. And he gave me the Jewel. If he is alive, I hope he can be helped. Otherwise, I fear we will face him again.

"Outrageous Fortune"
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