Amber, year 27, day 209 continued

I can't believe he didn't warn her! I don't care if she can take care of herself, it's still the polite thing to do. And what about Anne-Marie? She certainly can't defend herself against vampires, and Angelique might not be able to save both herself and her child, if attacked. He acted like he didn't even care about his own daughter. This from the man who, upon learning of Shannon and Vincent's existence, said he would have to do what he could to be involved in their lives. Sometimes I don't understand him. I know he loves our children, and his children with Sand. Why is he so indifferent to Anne-Marie? Is he worried that Angelique will use any affection he feels for her against him? I could understand why he might, but it isn't very fair to Anne-Marie. Or is it because he didn't even know of her existence until she was eight? Maybe he just can't bond with a child he didn't see grow up, the child of a woman he thought was dead and didn't love. Or maybe that's the key. He didn't love Angelique. I sometimes forget that he had other children before ours. Eight daughters, to be specific. And the only one that I've ever seen any evidence that he cared about is Tamaryn. Maybe he can't love the child without loving the mother. Well, whatever his reasons, if he won't warn them, I guess I'll have to.

That went relatively well, I think. At least faerie magic allows me to travel with little risk of being intercepted by a vampire. Angelique seemed surprised by the news. At least I think it was surprise. She's as hard to read as Lucien can be, when he puts his mind to it. Which means that even when I can read her, I can't trust that it's true. It does serve to remind me of how much Lucien has opened up to me, compared to how he used to be. Even if he has gotten somewhat worse since he started working for Nicholas again.

Amber, year 27, day 210 (Tuesday, November 22, 4)

Morning

I should have known that Jack would interfere with the spell. After all, if it works, faerie will no longer be the only source of magic around. I just didn't think he would be able to react so quickly. Alexandra must have told him what was going on. Or at least notified him of the power she saw emanating from outside of town. It was rather an exhilarating feeling, acting as a conduit for that much power. Exhilarating and a little terrifying. If only we could be sure it worked. I think we were caught up in the spell for half an hour, although it didn't feel that long to me. But the spell hadn't run its course when Jack grabbed Bartholomew, so maybe it hadn't gained the Turtle's attention yet. Which means we'll have to cast it again, to be sure. Hopefully using the Grove of the Unicorn will act to deter any further interference by Jack.

I would have thought of Whimsy from the start, but I didn't know that she had a Faerie Ward again. That should keep Jack far away from us. Plus, she can take Bartholomew's place as the fifth point, and as a bonus, Edwin can keep watch for any more interference. Not that this would have stopped Jack, but he may not be the only one who doesn't want this to work. It's odd to think of relying on Edwin for any help at all, much less lending him my sword to do it. I have to keep reminding myself that he's not the bastard that we all thought he was. An evil twin brother. Gods, that still seems like something out of a bad novel.

I was righter than I knew. Caine is the one who ended things this time, almost as soon as we'd begun. Why is he doing this? Does he think we didn't clear our actions with Nicholas first? He could have just asked. I wonder what Ishmael did with him, anyway? I thought it was rather clever of me, thinking of keeping Caine distracted with Trump so Ishmael could get to him. Even blocking Trump takes some effort, after all. Now if only he stays gone long enough for us to finish this damn spell!

OK, that does it! Now Eric is involved too? Why am I not surprised? It figures that he's the one who knocked me out. I've got to work on growing thicker armor over my skull. And I can't believe what Caine did to Alex. He severed his spine! Admittedly, it wasn't anything Alex couldn't have handled himself, even if I hadn't been there to help, but still... Well, they were too late, anyway. I can feel something answering the call we emitted, so there's no need to cast the spell again. Not that we could, with both Whimsy and Meander missing. And Meander wouldn't be missing if Whimsy hadn't decided to run away when Caine and Eric attacked. I hope he's all right.

Well, the good news is that Meander seems to be fine. The bad news is that Nicholas is not. Or doesn't appear to be. His guards are dead and he's missing from his office, which happens to be where Alex dumped Eric. What was he thinking? And what was Ishmael thinking, to not tell us how badly Nicholas has been affected by the loss of the Orb? At the very least, he should have realized that perhaps Nicholas was not in the best frame of mind to be making decisions as significant as whether we should re-establish contact with the Disc. Did Caine know something we didn't? If so, why didn't he just tell us? Well, it's too late now. I just hope we can figure out where Nicholas is, and who has him. It could be Eric, but Vincent said Nicholas was moving through Shadow, and Eric wasn't near him when we contacted him. Of course, Eric could have an ally, but... If this was Eric making a move on the throne, why would he take Nicholas and run? I would have expected him to claim the crown immediately, before anyone else could act. It just doesn't feel right. It's sloppy. Eric's last attempt on the throne was at least a bit more subtle. But if not Eric, then who has Nicholas, and why? Maybe Lucien can help. If anyone can trace Nicholas, it would be him.

It was hard to refrain from saying, "I told you so," to Whimsy, especially after her lecture about spreading the news of Nicholas' disappearance to unnecessary people. I knew Lucien would be able track him. So much for involving him being "unnecessary." I just wish I could go with him. I want to know what happened to Nicholas. But if Ishmael is already going, he'll be of more use than me anyway, and I don't want to slow things down. I guess I'll just go home and wait to hear something from Lucien.

Afternoon

Thank the gods I wasn't home when that thing attacked. It was hard enough to fight it off on the street, but to try and protect the children at the same time... Why was that thing coming after me in the first place? How did it get to Amber? And are there any more of them? I'd better warn Random, in case this wasn't an isolated incident. It was coming after me, though, I'm sure of it. It ignored everyone else, which is fortunate for them, since I don't think even the city guards could have done much to stop it. Even Morglyph had trouble making a dent in its hide. I really do have to see about fixing Alastor.

OK, now I'm getting paranoid. Whimsy, Alex and Meander have been attacked too. Could it be related to the spell we cast together? It's looking that way. But I still can't shake the feeling that Gavin is involved, somehow. He usually is, where demons are concerned. Well, I directed Random his way, so maybe he'll figure out what's going on. I suppose it could be just a coincidence that the three of us were attacked, but I don't think so. And until I'm sure, I'm not going home. If I have somehow become a demon magnet, the last thing I want to do is lead them to my children. Or Ishmael's. I hope Tamaryn doesn't mind looking after all of them, but with Lucien gone, she's the person that I trust the most where they're concerned.

It's looking pretty definite that the demons are only after those of us who cast the spell to summon the Turtle. Bartholomew was attacked as well. Which means there are likely some after Ishmael, but since he's with Lucien, he's probably safer than the rest of us. At least walking the Pattern will remove the magical energy from the spell that the demons are using to trace us. Or so Bartholomew assures us. I hate walking the Pattern, but it beats fighting off demons until the energy dissipates naturally. If it ever does. The question is, can we all finish walking the Pattern before the demons dig their way through to us?

I should have thought to ask her. I thought Edwin still had her Faerie Ward, but I should have made sure. Now, because I didn't, Whimsy may be dead. She was in such obvious pain at the end of her walk, and now she's lying so still at the center... Gods, she can't be dead. It was bad enough watching Nimue die on the Pattern, I can't go through that again. Not when I could have stopped it. If only I'd thought to ask her.

She's alive. Thank the gods! The Faerie Ward is gone, though, and I have an uneasy feeling that I know where it went. Alex does too, by the look on his face. He would know better than anyone. When he walked the Pattern with his Spikard, it became fused to his hand. And gave him Chaos Cancer. I can detect no trace of that in Whimsy, at least. Not yet, anyway.

I can't believe Ishmael lived through that. Especially given that his sword suddenly seems to be about as useless as Alastor. I saw what one of those demons did to Whimsy, and while Ishmael's a lot tougher than she is, he isn't a shapeshifter. So how did he survive with only minor wounds? Did Lucien do something to him before he rejoined us?

This is not quite what I was expecting. Whimsy appears to have absorbed the Faerie Ward, as I thought. The energy from any spell cast around her is immediately sucked into her. But I can find no trace of the Ward when I examine her. In Alex's case, the Spikard was still solid inside of him. But with Whimsy... Just how completely did she absorb it? Maybe Lucien can find it, but it's definitely beyond my capabilities.

The two remaining demons who were not either killed or banished have fled Amber, faster than we can follow. Damn! I would have liked to get all of them. I hope Gavin is able to erect that warning spell, just in case they do return to Amber.

Evening

I feel much better, now that the children are safely back, and I've washed all of the demon ichor off of me. It's too bad you can't get rid of that stuff just by shifting back. I suppose I could just absorb it, the way Lucien does when he needs extra mass, but that's a rather oogie thought. I'm not sure I want demonic remnants becoming a part of me. No, I'm quite sure I don't want demonic remnants becoming a part of me.

It worked! It must have. My Trumps of Jackie and Looks Twice are cold again! I can't wait to talk to Looks Twice. And I need to see if he or Meander can recommend someone to teach me witchcraft. But that can wait until tomorrow. I've had enough excitement for today.

Lucien is safely back, as is Nicholas. Eric didn't have him, but Lucien won't tell me any more of what happened. He did something sneaky, though. I just know it. He has that mischievous look that he gets when he's done something fun and gotten away with it. And he practically smirked when I asked him if he'd done something to Ishmael before he joined us. He certainly didn't utter a very convincing yes. But if he didn't shift Ishmael to make him tougher, how did Ishmael survive the demons? Unless... No, he wouldn't... Yes, he would. But did he? Was it him, and not Ishmael, who fought the demons? It would explain why the demons didn't do as much damage to him as they should have, and why he actually was friendly to Whimsy in the center of the Pattern. I thought that seemed rather odd, given that he wouldn't say a word to her when I brought her in to assist on the spell this morning. Not to mention the fact that his sword was suddenly useless against the demons. I can't be sure, though. Maybe Ishmael's sword was affected like Alastor. I'll just have to wait and see if that's really the case. Unless I can trip Lucien up now, get him to say or do something that confirms he was in the Pattern room with the rest of us. Hmm, if he was there, he knows I've walked the Pattern. Surely he wouldn't sleep with me knowing what will happen as a result of that. Would he?

So much for that theory. He tried all right. Which means either he didn't know, or he did know, but knew I would stop him, lest I become pregnant again. The problem is, I let things progress far enough that now I don't want him to stop. I suppose it was too much to hope that with the decrease in the Pattern's power, it would have lost its effect on fertility. No such luck. I can't undo it either, nor can Lucien. How annoying. At least Lucien can fix things on his end so that it isn't a problem. My being fertile doesn't matter if nothing comes along to complete the process.

Discworld, year 27, day 211 (Wednesday, November 23, 4)

Morning

Not only is the Disc back, but the old difficulties with reaching it via Trump seem to be gone, at least for now. Bartholomew still has a connection to it, though. Maybe he no longer cares if people visit it? He must not. Why else would he have helped us, yesterday? Unfortunately, it looks like my hopes of the Disc providing some help in dealing with the new vampire (or vampires) in Amber were in vain. Meander says there isn't really much one can do to stop one, other than befriend him. Or her. And while I may have been able to do this with Shard, I don't think it's a very effective defense against most vampires. Meander did say there was a religion here whose symbols are effective, but you have to believe in their one god for that to work. Which would be hard enough for me normally, but even worse, they appear to be a patriarchy, where women have no power. How could I believe in a religion that supports everything I've fought so hard against? They even burn witches! I was briefly tempted to bring one of them to Amber and see if their faith protects them from Lasker there, but I couldn't bring myself to do so. Having a conscience is damned inconvenient, sometimes.

At least Meander thinks he can find someone to teach me witchcraft, and it sounds like I might be able to pay a wizard to enchant Alastor so that it regains the capabilities that it lost with conjuration. And maybe even link my wedding ring to Lucien's, the way our serpent rings used to be. It will not be cheap, but I have the money. Pity I can't just conjure the gems. Of course, if I could do that, I wouldn't need the spells at all. Gods, I really miss conjuration.

Looks Twice is the chief of his tribe now. I'm happy to see him alive and well, but somewhat sad to learn of his new position. I remember the previous chief, and I rather liked him. He was kind to me, once he realized I meant his tribe no harm. It sounds like the defeat of Cedric improved their situation quite a bit. I just hope that the negotiations Looks Twice referred to will force the slavers to leave them alone. I meant my offer of help to him. I would hate to see anything happen to him or his tribe.

I had to show Looks Twice how the children have grown. Ana and Briana remembered him somewhat from their last visit, despite their young age. Meeting a centaur does tend to leave an impression on a child. I bet Bryan and Grayson's children will remember this for a while. They were all so wide-eyed when we first arrived, it was wonderful to watch. Looks Twice has agreed to keep them with him while I go into Altair to look for a wizard. I was hoping he would. I certainly wouldn't want to risk bringing them into the city.

Afternoon

Finding a wizard may take longer than I thought. Not many of them do the sort of thing I'm looking for. I've made some inquiries, but it will take a little while for them to bear any fruit. I suppose if I can't find anyone, I can always try to find a solution in Shadow. But that could take weeks, and I'd rather not be gone from the children for that long, if I can help it.

Whimsy is interested in learning witchcraft as well. Not surprising, given that faerie magic is forever lost to her. Well, at least so long as the Faerie Ward is a part of her. Lucien was able to find it, but it's merged with her on a molecular level, so removing it would be both difficult and time-consuming. Plus, Whimsy didn't appear to like the idea of being put through a sieve, essentially. I admit, it's not the most appealing idea, but I would do it rather than be barred from faerie magic. Although, it would certainly have its advantages. Like rendering Jack vulnerable in my presence, for one thing. I'll bet I could actually hurt him. Or even kill him. Whimsy didn't think much of that idea. Even the idea of just beating him harshly. Amazing. Apparently her hatred for him has faded somewhat over the years. Well, mine hasn't. I'm not sure it ever will. Not when I have Grayson as a constant reminder of what he did to us. How can I forgive him for that?

Eral, I nearly forgot! I need to have Meander reapply the geas, now that I've walked the Pattern. It's been so long since he cast the original spell, that I'd almost forgotten that walking the Pattern would dispel it. Given the recent spate of vampire activity, I doubt I'll be in any situation with Shard that would necessitate it, but still... Better to be safe than sorry.

"Outrageous Fortune"
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Last modified on June 25, 1999 by Kris Fazzari.