Amber, year one, day 130 (Saturday, November 6, 2987)

Not much else of interest happened last night. Felix and Heather had an argument over where to leave Ariadne. It was nice to see that I am not the only one who finds her hard to take. We wound up leaving her in the infirmary, with Battlestar and some guards to watch her.

I spent the day avoiding Flora and getting ready for the Ball. Kira did her usual fine job with my hair. I did my best to look well for the dance. Ahab looks wonderful in a toga. Unfortunately, his mater does not agree. She obviously disapproved, especially when she learned that he wore no underwear (really, I do not understand the preoccupation they both have with that). Deirdre is not pleased with me at all. I believe she thinks I am a poor influence for Ahab. She acts as though he is still a small child. Ahab did not seem happy with the situation either. I think Deirdre took offense at a comment I made about "you Amberites". Given that I have spent little more than four months knowing my heritage, after spending a lifetime in ignorance of it, I can hardly be blamed for not being used to thinking of myself as an Amberite. Especially since I have no family and no history here. The only way we even know I am an Amberite is because I survived walking the Pattern. No one has acknowledged me, or made any effort to let me know what being an Amberite means, outside of Ahab (and to some extent, Mirelle). Is it any wonder that I still feel like an outsider? Or speak like one? Damn this family anyway! I suspect that were it not for my cousins, I would have left long ago.

Felix, Ahab and I had a pleasant conversation about sailing ships over dinner. They have some marvelous ones here, with many masts and no oarsmen! I hope I have the opportunity to see one soon. We also spent some time discussing the climate of Amber. It is much more seasonal here than back home. Ahab says they even get snow here, which I have not seen since I returned from our exploratory journey many years ago. I will have to start wearing warmer clothing as winter draws near, which I am sure will make some of the Amberites very happy.

The food at the Ball was excellent. Whatever other faults they may have, Amberites certainly do know how to eat. They had this wonderful dessert called chocolate, which was absolutely marvelous. The dancing was fun as well, once I learned the patterns. It is much slower and more structured than what I am used to, but I am not really surprised by that. At least that made it easy to pick up. Ahab helped teach me as we danced, by sharing our minds so he could show me the steps. I rather enjoyed dancing that way, it makes the experience more intimate somehow. I wonder what it would be like to make love in that manner? I will have to ask Ahab if he would be willing to try.

Ahab had a bad time of it this evening. Besides the early problems with Deirdre, we learned from Martin that Corwin killed Ahab's pater in a duel. Now Martin only knew of this as a rumor, but Ahab later confirmed it with Corwin. He was extremely angry that this had been kept from him by Deirdre. I cannot say that I blame him. He insulted her somewhat, by dancing with Llewella, and she left. I hope they do not kill each other over this. He asked to be left alone after talking with Corwin. (Another forced Trump call. Corwin must be getting really sick of those.)

Felix noticed that Bleys was paying an unusual amount of attention to me during dinner, which he told me about while we were dancing. To be honest, I had not noticed. Felix seems to be much more observant than I had originally given him credit for. I will have to remember that in the future. It occurred to both of us that perhaps Bleys is my Amber parent. Other than those hurried moments of planning after Oberon returned, this was the first time we have even been in the same room together, so if he was my pater it might explain his interest. I danced with him once, to see what else I could determine. Now, most men look at me a certain way, especially when I am dancing close to them. Bleys did not. He also talked with me about my childhood. He could have just been making conversation, but he is the first elder who has even cared enough to ask. I wish I knew for certain. Then I could learn the answer to the questions that I have been asking myself ever since I was old enough to know how I was found: Why did my parents abandon me? Was it necessary? Were they in some danger? Or did they just leave me there to die? I must talk to Driscoll about this soon. After all, he was able to determine that he was Random's son long before Random knew he was alive. Perhaps his methods would be useful for me as well. I just want to finally know the truth. Even if it means learning that I am more closely related to Heather than I had thought.

We were introduced to three of the Golden Circle ambassadors at dinner. Two of them were from Begman and Eregnor, the same countries whose delegates were fighting last night. At least they made it through dinner tonight before starting a brawl. One of them elbowed Caine's lady in the nose. And Heather thinks I am rude! Felix was especially upset about the whole thing. He started yelling at them, and at least Orkuz (the Begman ambassador) had the good grace to look embarrassed. Dormel had to be prompted to even apologize to the lady he struck. I suspect there will be more trouble from him.

I do not think that Coral is truly Ambassador Orkuz's daughter. I asked Ahab about this to see if it was common knowledge. It is not, but Ahab agreed with my opinion on the matter. I also noticed that Brand left sometime after dinner. It could simply be that he wanted to get away from the rest of the Amberites, since he is still not very welcome. However, since it is Brand, I remain suspicious.

"Outrageous Fortune"
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Last modified on August 5, 1994 by Kris Fazzari.