"…I felt as stiff as if I had swallowed a ramrod or the Sergeant's halberd."
-John Shipp

After a few weeks in the army, weeks of tediuous drills, strenuous runs, and incessant firearm exercised, there's one skill that continues to elude you. You've worked, you've struggled, you've cursed, you've prayed, but still, you have not been able to master the intricate and painful art of military hair-dressing.

You know how it's supposed to look for full-dress parades-the hair must be drawn back tightly all the way to the nape of your neck, with a club (a knot) or a queue (a ponytail) at the end, and the rest of the hair powdered white. ( DeWatteville, 88)

The complex and usually painful procedure requires a partner to apply, and a number of unsavory ingredients, including candle-grease and soap. The hair is to be tightly pulled from the back, anchored by a heavy sand-filled bag, and tied with a leather thong, then powdered, but before the regimental strap is put on. If all of this is done right, the skin of your face should be pulled tight enough that it should be "impossible so much as to wink an eyelid." (Brereton, 39-40)

Next: Riot in London!

C. Bretherton, cartoon c. 1782
(Barnett Plate 6)