Dear Dave...Oh, Nothing
the letters I never sent to David Letterman

Live and Learn From Uncle Lou
when I first wrote this, I'd never heard of Jack Handey.
I just made it up to sneak into the inspirational section of the bookstore
where I worked. Needless to say, I fell out of contention for employee of the month.

There Ought to be Bigger Shrimp
the very first Moral-Less Fable,
this little story about Sarah and her feet has no point whatsoever

If I Had a Porch
if I knew what it was about, I'd tell you. Honest.